Every owner wants their dog to be confident and happy, but sometimes that goal can seem elusive. The good news is that there is a considerable amount we can do to improve our dog’s confidence and calmness in new situations.
Just like humans, some dogs are born confident, while others are more shy by nature, and some breeds are naturally more confident or sensitive than others. Life experiences can then alter this natural tendency or accentuate elements of it. It is our job to do our part to work with the inbuilt tendencies along with the life experiences that have gone before to help our dogs feel the best they can in their own skin.
Here are our ten tips for creating a confident dog:
1. Choose your puppy carefully. If you are at the puppy-buying stage, then make sure you choose an ethical and reliable breeder. Good breeders will take the time to build the confidence of the puppies in their care, whether by making sure vet appointments are kept as relaxed as possible, getting them used to the sound of TV and radio, and letting them play on different indoor and out. When you choose your puppy, you then need to continue the good work of the breeder by giving your puppy short and happy experiences wherever possible. Your puppy should see you as a protector and best friend.
2. If you are taking on an older dog who may already have had bad experiences, the experience is just the same as with a puppy but much, much slower. First, the dog must learn to trust your support and protection, which can take a long time, especially for sensitive dogs. Secondly, we need to accept that some fears will not be fixable. During puppyhood, there are several natural developmental fear stages, which are biological and can’t be avoided. They exist as evolution’s way of preventing growing puppies from becoming too adventurous and getting themselves into trouble. If a dog suffers trauma during one of these phases, he may always be nervous in that specific situation, and as owners of older dogs, we need to respect that. Trying to push him through his fear or ‘fix him’ merely shows him that you don’t understand his point of view, which can lose all the trust you have built in the first place. Instead, if you acknowledge his concern and take him out of that situation, he will grow in confidence over time. You may not have to do much; it is often enough to step between your dog and the scary item or person or walk a short distance away, even turning back if that is the best option. If you do this, you show your dog that you can deal with whatever he is afraid of and that you will protect him.
3. A lack of confidence can show up in very different ways, but we need to be willing to handle them all. One dog may pull towards something he is afraid of, with his hackles up and barking, while another may cower and hide behind your legs. Both dogs are equally fearful but just display the emotion differently. Your response, therefore, has to be the same in both situations; you need to go a suitable distance away from the scary situation and keep your body between your dog and the item he fears. There is no need to use your voice, as this can just add pressure. Stand tall and act with confidence; dogs naturally assess our body language and often prefer it to our speech. Taking charge of the situation will show your dog that they can rely on you.
4. Many dogs enjoy trying something new, but some will hang back tentatively. If your dog doesn’t want to engage in a new activity, stay with them and allow them to watch from a distance. Let them see what is going on, but don’t let them become overwhelmed by the newness of the situation. If you give your dog time, he may become curious and want to go and check it out for himself, but if he doesn’t, that’s also okay, and you should respect his decision. Giving him time shows him that you are aware of his feelings, which builds his trust in you.
5. Building confidence is a slow process. Once your dog is comfortable in a certain scenario, you can start to add new elements and see how he tolerates them. If he is unhappy, take his feedback on board and remove the new element, but if he seems not to notice the new challenge, then keep going. Over time, you will expand your dog’s comfort zone. The key here is that the second your dog is unhappy, you take a step back in the process. It is never worth ‘pushing through’. It might feel frustratingly slow, to begin with, but by showing your dog you are listening, you are allowing the process to move much more rapidly further down the line.
6. To help your dog grow in confidence, explain what you need him to do in small steps with lots of positive reinforcement. Reward every single response you want, and make sure you use rewards your dog enjoys. Never punish a dog for getting something wrong.
7. In training situations, always end your sessions on a good note, even if it means returning to a previous exercise that your dog understands well. Never leave a training session on a ‘failure’.
8. Celebrate small successes and displays of bravery. If your dog willingly goes past something he is afraid of or shows greater confidence than normal in a situation, give him lots of attention. If he knows how well he has done, he’ll gain even more confidence.
9. You can help your dog to trust you more by always believing what he tells you. If your dog is unhappy, walk away, even if you can’t understand why he is struggling. This is particularly the case when encountering other dogs. If your dog doesn’t want to play, walk away. Don’t try to keep the owner of the other dog happy by trying to encourage your dog to play. Situations where owners don’t speak up for their dogs and their preferences often result in injury and trauma!
10. Confident dog parents create confident dogs. Any work you do to build your own confidence will help your dog feel more confident too. Be kind to yourself, and do not set impossible tasks. It’s perfectly okay to avoid places or activities that you simply find more challenging.
